Is remote work BS?

Is remote work BS?

https://finance.yahoo.com/news/remote-bullshit-office-situation-change-232727402.html

Hmm. It wasn’t bullsh*t when people were told to WFH to flatten the C*v!d curve though, was it?

And the longer those “two weeks” went on, the less bullsh*tty it seemed, n’est-ce pas?

But now that you are expected to c’mon back, you need to believe that it was all BS and working in an office is best.😣

If we were in a satirical movie, it’d be hilarious.

“Remote work is ‘a bunch of bullshit,’ according to Sam Zell, the outspoken real estate magnate known for his colorful language.

‘One of the biggest lies in the world is that people working from home are more productive than people working in the office,’ the billionaire founder and chairman of Equity Group Investments told a New York University luncheon on Wednesday. ‘You have much less productivity if you’re working from home in your pajamas with three little kids running around than if you’re in an office.'” -Yahoo Finance, Ibid.  emphasis mine

This sounds an awful lot like the CEO who claimed people sat at home and refused to open their laptops for an entire month:

If we demand RTO, sell the family dog to show your fealty to us. Your pet is irrelevant to you in the face of our corporate needs!

Oh but wait – it continues to get better:

“‘Many of you have tried to tend your own children, and, doing so, also manage your demanding work schedules and responsibilities,’ he said in the video.

‘And while I know you’re doing your best — some would say they’ve even mastered this art — but one could also argue that generally, this path is neither fair to your employer, nor fair to those children,’ he added.

‘Now, I don’t necessarily believe that, but I do believe that only the rarest of full-time caregivers can also be productive and full-time employees at the same time,’ he said.” -MSN, Ibid.

Eff them kids, too. Shunt them babies off to daycare and get your ass back in the office!

https://causeyconsultingllc.com/2023/04/24/can-this-possibly-be-true/

No pets. No sick relatives. No kids. Swear your fealty to the corporate overlords or die in the gutter! When we tell you to work remotely because dammit, we want to be sure you keep working in the face of a pandemic, you do that. When we say we are tired of playing pandemic and you need to return, dammit, you do that!

I really think they see it as being that cut and dry.

“Zell, of course, is not a neutral observer. The shift to remote work has hammered commercial real estate (CRE), where he made much of his fortune, leading to rising vacancy rates and falling property values. Morgan Stanley analysts recently forecast something ‘worse than in the Great Financial Crisis’ for CRE. And last month, Tesla and Twitter CEO Elon Musk tweeted that of all the economy’s looming threats, the state of the CRE debt market is ‘by far the most serious.'” -Yahoo Finance, Ibid.

Well no duh. Of course he’s not a neutral observer.

“‘Young people need to develop their skills,’ he said, ‘and you can’t develop those skills if you’re not in the office.’

He added, ‘I don’t know how a young person who wants to be recognized—who wants to be rewarded for superior effort—can do so if the person who makes the decisions about them doesn’t see them at work.'” -Yahoo Finance, Ibid.

WON’T SOMEONE PLEASE THINK OF THE CHILDREN? THEY WILL NEVER GET AHEAD DUE TO PROXIMITY BIAS!

Puh-leeze.

“JPMorgan CEO Jamie Dimon said in January at Davos that remote work ‘doesn’t work for young kids or spontaneity or management.’ He made similar comments in May 2021 at a Wall Street Journal conference, saying, ‘It doesn’t work for those who want to hustle. It doesn’t work for spontaneous idea generation. It doesn’t work for culture.'” -Yahoo Finance, Ibid.  emphasis mine

Ah. I think he’s getting closer to the mark. Want to hustle. If you wanna prove yourself to us and play Bud Fox to Gordon Gekko, get yer butt in the office and do the tap dance, pal.

And speaking of the Clearlink CEO:

“‘Some of our developers could be working for two different companies. We don’t know. We hope that’s not the case, but we don’t know. Many content writers today are now exclusively using A.I. to write. I can do that in about 30 minutes of an eight-hour workday. So what do we need to do? Let’s put out 30 to 50 times our normal production.'” -Yahoo Finance, Ibid.

C’mon back to the office so we can surveil you. We need to be sure you aren’t doing what CEOs do by dipping your quill into more than one inkwell. We also want to up your production metrics because, I mean, hey, AI can do your job in 30 minutes. 

This cannot end well. It just can’t.

“Zell criticized online meetings, too, arguing they can’t replace face-to-face ones:

‘There’s an enormous difference between a Zoom board meeting and a meeting in person. A Zoom board meeting is a board meeting where everyone sits and listens to recitations. An in-person meeting is where the real discussion takes place.'” -Yahoo Finance, Ibid.

I don’t disagree with the dislike of video chats. I hate them. HATE. And it drives me bonkers that the pandemic created an expectation of video calls rather than telephone calls. People were perfectly fine on the phone before March of 2020. Now every blessed meeting has to be on video like we’re all in a giant reality TV taping. Super gross. If the meeting could have been an email, cancel it.

“Zell also suggested that companies, when faced with layoffs, will favor staff who work in the office over remote workers. ‘We’re all reading about layoffs in the newspapers,’ he said. ‘It will be interesting to see what percentage of those who lost their jobs worked from home and what percentage of them are people who came into the office.'” -Yahoo Finance, Ibid.

That sounds less like a prediction and more like a thinly veiled threat if you ask me.

*Slips on tinfoil hat*

Believe whatever you are told to believe. WFH when you are told to and come back to the office when you are told to. It’s about control and obedience. If we turn Corpo America into a Squid Game where you WFH when the light is green and come back when the light is red, so be it. Don’t use logic and don’t question the system.

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