24 Apr Can this possibly be true?
Image by Rob Slaven from Pixabay
Hyperbole, line 1. Your party is waiting.
Wow. The corporate bull💩 seems to get waist deep sometimes, doesn’t it?
We got the pity city CEO followed by a mealy-mouthed half-assed apology followed by this:
I said this. I gave a passive-aggressive “sorry y’all got offended” apology, and then threatened to fire the whistleblowers. All while making a sh*tload of money.
Now we get this:
Naturally it begs the question: can this possibly be true? Or is it just the typical bloviating nonsense we get from the feudal lords?
“Clearlink CEO James Clarke told employees that many remote workers have ‘quietly quit’ and become so brazen that dozens at his company ‘didn’t even open’ their laptops for a month, according to a video posted by Vice.
Clarke, who founded the marketing and tech company based in Utah, made the remarks this month while addressing the company’s return-to-office mandate, Vice first reported. The company has asked most of its employees in Utah to work from the office four days a week, a Clearlink representative confirmed to Insider.” -MSN, Ibid.
For me, that seems as holey as Swiss cheese. A month? You supposedly had dozens of employees that said, “Eff this” and did zero work for an entire month and nothing happened? They just stayed on the payroll even though no one could reach them for a month? I. Don’t. F**king. Believe. It.
When you look at how many bosses get jazzed about Zoom, Slack, Teams, etc., and want to ping the crap outta ya all day, I don’t believe dozens of people could essentially vanish for a month with no one saying, “Hey, what happened to John Doe? I haven’t heard from him in days.”
IMO, this is hyperbolic BS used as a “justification” for the RTO mandate. Plain and simple. “Well, guys, we had to c’mon back to the office because dozens of you abused the WFH system and did eff-all for an entire month and it poisoned the water for everyone else. So get on back to the cube farm. It’s not really our fault for asking ya because too many lazy plebs took advantage of remote work.”
Also let’s bear in mind how much SURVEILLANCE is on employer-provided tech. They know every time you burp, for heaven’s sake. Yet you expect me to believe dozens of people didn’t even open a laptop for a month solid and no one confronted them? I. Don’t. F**king. Believe. It.
If this propaganda nonsense isn’t bad enough, just wait. It gets better:
“Clarke also appeared to laud the work ethic of one employee who he said, ‘sold their family dog’ in order to rise to expectations at work, contrasting it with others who he said, ‘quietly quit their positions, but are taking a paycheck,’ according to the video of the executive’s meeting with employees that was posted by Vice, where part of his speech could be heard.” -MSN, Ibid.
Same energy as this nightmare:
Don’t get vet treatments for the pets. Let them die. Eat lentils. Take the bus. No one said this would be fun, you damn peon. (Although it’s plenty of fun for the hyper elites who engorge themselves every time there’s an economic crisis.)
If we demand RTO, sell the family dog to show your fealty to us. Your pet is irrelevant to you in the face of our corporate needs!
Oh but wait – it continues to get better:
“‘Many of you have tried to tend your own children, and, doing so, also manage your demanding work schedules and responsibilities,’ he said in the video.
‘And while I know you’re doing your best — some would say they’ve even mastered this art — but one could also argue that generally, this path is neither fair to your employer, nor fair to those children,’ he added.
‘Now, I don’t necessarily believe that, but I do believe that only the rarest of full-time caregivers can also be productive and full-time employees at the same time,’ he said.” -MSN, Ibid.
Eff them kids, too. Shunt them babies off to daycare and get your ass back in the office!
This is what it’s about, folks. I’ve warned you about this before: Corpo America prizes conformity and control. Are you gonna sit down, shut up, and toe the line or are you gonna be a problem, pal? NOTHING COMES BEFORE THE FIRM! Not pets, not kids, not sick relatives. Sell your immortal soul to us. Nothing less will suffice. (I’m picturing Jabba the Hutt eating and eating yet never getting full.)
I’m gonna drop the f word here. I surely am. Fascism. I once heard it said that fascism can be when the corporations control the government or when the government controls the corporations. When you have this collusion between the one and the other, the end result is the same: a boot on the back of your neck.
If you’re not feeling like Howard Beale in Network yet, check your pulse to be sure you’re still alive.
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