15 Dec 💡 Tuesday Tips,12.15.2020
In the last podcast episode, I read a quote from Matthew Jones’ article on Inc.com: “11 Billion Reasons The Self Help Industry Doesn’t Want You To Know The Truth About Happiness.” I received several DMs of, “C’mon. Is that really true? Doesn’t everyone ultimately want to be happy?”
Well, yes and no. 🤷
Some people clearly do and others clearly don’t.
Ever have a friend or family member who griped and moaned about life but never did ANYTHING to change it? Didn’t it seem like they enjoyed wallowing in their own misery?
From Matthew Jones’ article:
“People are afraid of vulnerability, attached to their suffering, and stuck in their ways. They don’t want to change. They think that happiness is an object that can be purchased. Whether in a book, a pill, a work-out plan, or a simple to-do list prescribed by a life coach. The truth is that real happiness is always present in your life–you just need to get out of the way to access it.”
Funny enough, this very topic about being set in your ways popped up in my own inbox today from The Daily Stoic:
“We’ve been this way for a while. We are set in our ways. We’ve always had a short fuse. We’ve always been sad about our childhood. We’ve always had trouble with our eating. We’ve never been much good at being faithful. Maybe you have a mean streak. Maybe you’re too timid. Maybe you don’t like to try very hard. Maybe you don’t think you’re good enough.
How’s that working out for you? Why keep going down a road that leads nowhere? Marcus Aurelius talks about how crazy it is that we just go on staying the same person we’ve always been—how we just ‘keep being mauled and degraded’ by the life we’re living. And for what? It’s not even pleasurable. It’s not even getting us what we want. A person who can’t change, who refused to change, he says are ‘like those animal fighters at the games—torn half to pieces, covered in blood and gore, and still pleasing to be held over till tomorrow… to be bitten and clawed again.'”
I’m gonna potentially lob a Molotov cocktail here, but it needs to be said: if you are a service-based business provider or a consultant of any kind– someone who will be directly delivering a service to a client and working closely in tandem with them– be very, very aware in your screening process of people who want to play the martyr, live in the past, gripe about how life sucks, and are unwilling to make changes. They are like poison to your business and you will be utterly miserable the entire time you are dealing with them. Not all money is good money and trying to deal with perpetual whiners will drag you down and waste a lot of your time. Don’t walk away, RUN.
Again from Matthew Jones:
“The only way to discover true happiness is to surrender to it. Open yourself up. Transform your habits. And stop practicing unhappiness. Find someone who knows what they’re talking about and learn from them–it’s the only way. And it is that simple.”
Stop practicing unhappiness. I love that line. I really like how Esther Hicks always says to focus on the wanted, not the unwanted. I’ll be discussing more about that idea and how we can shift away from thinking about negative outcomes and things we detest in life in order to attract the outcomes we DO want and the types of experiences we enjoy.
See you Thursday.
Causey Consulting, LLC
Owner | Coach | HR & Business Consultant