17 Nov 💡 Tuesday Tips,11.17.2020
On the next podcast episode, I’ll be talking about needless guilt and beating yourself up. The holidays are often a time when these tendencies get magnified, which is unfortunate. A lot of cities are going back on lockdown and Thanksgiving is not going to look the way it has in the past. This in and of itself is causing stress for many people.
So what is needless guilt?
Around the holidays, it can show up as:
“Mom wants to serve dinner at 6. We got stuck in traffic, we’re gonna be late, she’ll be mad, and the whole meal is ruined because we didn’t anticipate the traffic jam.”
“Everyone else will have a bigger gift budget than me. I’m going to look foolish.”
“I burned the Christmas cookies. I never should have tried this in the first place.”
“He didn’t like the gift I bought. I should have tried harder to find something unique. No wonder he was disappointed.”
These emotions are not remorse for having actually done something harmful to another person. They are feelings of self-punishment, not being good enough, and a fear of disappointing other people.
As Oscar Wilde once wrote, “To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance.” The funny thing is: the more tender and forgiving we can be with ourselves, the more we can provide those sentiments to the other people in our lives.
Causey Consulting, LLC
Owner | Coach | HR & Business Consultant